For the last six months, I've been asking myself this question: What can I do to add value to the lives of the people I'll be in contact with this week?" I've actually been praying about this quite regularly for a few months. I want to leave a positive impact, mainly because I think that's mostly what God does when He interacts with us.
But that idea can get lost in the hyper-spiritual. What does 'adding value' look like with skin on?
I've especially asked the question on Mondays as a way of focusing myself before the week hits me and eats me for dinner, which kind of happens if I'm not careful. And it's a live question because if I don't fight the drift in my life, I can easily become absorbed in what I'm thinking about or preoccupied with and not make anyone's world even somewhat better.
I realize that unless you lock yourself away in a room, all of us are going come into contact with dozens or evens hundreds or thousands of people this week.
Here are some thoughts:
Adding value to interaction with strangers:
- Smile
- Hold the door open for them
- Strike up casual conversations with people who work in stores
In a closer relationship (and at work and home):
- Listen to people
- Encourage people. Catch them doing something right.
- When faced with a problem, ask a question rather than make a statement. It avoids judgment and keeps everyone engaged in the solution.
- Assume the best. Most people are trying to do the right thing, even if it doesn't seem that way.
- Learn something new and use that learning to help equips and empowers others.
- Forgive quickly. Judge slowly.
That's just a short list of things I've been thinking about. What do you think about that? Helpful question? What would you add or subtract from that list?
Thank you Carey for these thoughts, especially about "Assuming the best." and "Forgive quickly." These are two areas in which I am weak. It is just what I needed to read as I start my week. Please pray for my success in these areas as I am know that my walk with God depends upon working in these areas.
Posted by: Bill Laxton | November 24, 2008 at 08:28 AM
Carey,
I think you do a great job at exuding all of these. I think you clearly see the value of others inherent from the fact that our Heavenly Father created and loves them just as much as you or me.
Still a great reminder to keep it in front of us.
Posted by: Tank | November 24, 2008 at 06:22 PM
In a world where some are trying to make it and be better than the next "Joe/Jill", I feel it is important for us NOT to be quick to judge or criticize others (this is a very terrible characteristic to pass onto our children - as we verballize our thoughts TOO quickly) - and yes I am guilty of this. How easy is it for us to say - look at that strange outfit I wouldn't be caught dead in that or how skinny or fat someone is, all, really, just based on our own insecurities.
So I feel it is important not to judge others, but to sympathize or just be understanding of whatever situation, mood or life event they are going through.
Posted by: Lisa J | November 25, 2008 at 11:44 AM
Thanks for the input! It is hard for me to keep these things first and foremost, but bringing them to the front of my mind and prayer life is so helpful.
Here's what a couple of friends added to the dialogue via my Facebook page:
...bring 100% of who i am - and who God made me to be - to the 'table'.
...really care about what is going on in their life - follow-up with them when they tell me things that are important to them
...be honest with people - speak the truth in love
...share my stuff in a way that lets them know i want to help them - (my stuff really isn't my stuff anyway)
...keep the 3 of people around me somewhat small so i can give them quality time
And..
Empower them through trust. Even when you don't agree.
Hope this is helpful for you like it was for me.
Posted by: Carey Nieuwhof (Connexus Community Church) | November 25, 2008 at 12:00 PM
Sometimes I think the challenge is to see people through their eyes rather than my own. My own assess things through my life experiences which can be totally different. I find it easier to engage with a stranger because I have no preconceptions of them. My self-challenge is to see my family through clear, caring eyes and give them the time and recognition each of us needs.
Posted by: Laurie | November 26, 2008 at 08:10 AM
A simple way that I've found to add value to people is to appreciate what they do.
Appreciate is an awesome word - it means 'to increase in value'.
When you recognize what people do and are thankful for it then you increase the value of what they have done - you add value to their lives!
Posted by: Peter P | November 30, 2008 at 04:57 PM