Carey Nieuwhof

Orange Potential

First of all, hi to everyone home at Connexus! Miss you guys (not to mention missing my kids!).  You've heard us talk a lot about Orange. I imagine people wonder: why would almost 4000 people leave home to attend a conference in Atlanta?  Just to get inspired?  Nope. It's way bigger than that.

Orange is about helping church leaders to work together with parents to raise our kids morally and spiritually.  I also think it's a huge front door that God is opening into communities world wide.  Think about it:  the average parent who doesn't go to church rarely lies awake at night wondering what a lead pastor is going to speak about next, but the average parent who doesn't go to church lies awake at night wondering whether their kids are going to be okay.  If we come alongside parents and simply say "we care about the same things you do", it opens conversations that might never happen otherwise.

It's what makes me so thrilled to be part of Connexus at home, and so excited to see thousands of church leaders catch a vision for what could be as we partner with parents to help their kids become everything God dreams of us being.

This is more than a conference...it feels much more like a movement. 

Orangeologists...what potential do you see?

Orangeology (3)

This is like so late because the internet connection at the Gwinnett Center was worse than dial up. 

Orange 2008 is over.  It was such a great thing to see so many gathered with a heart for families and a heart for those who still don't follow Jesus.

Day two and three reflections:

• Lanny Donaho and Reggie are so uncannily funny it's still surreal.
• The worship was soul-stirring.  I loved seeing people caught up in Jesus.
• Apparently I say "amazing" a lot.  Thanks Fred.  That's so completely amazing to know!
• Francis Chan went for the jugular.  A former gang member who Francis baptized quit his church after six months. His observation: he could find more community in a gang than in the church.  Do we really care for each other? Do we have each other's backs?
• Donald Miller:  leaders speak something beautiful into the nothing, the way God spoke something beautiful into nothing to create.
• Andy Stanley forced my notebook open (every time I'm with him I get fresh insight).  I took copious notes.  Then I lost them after his talk.  Darn. I'm such a bonehead.  Good thing I'm at Drive next week. Andy did make me realize how unbelievably influential and important small group leaders are.  And every time I'm even near Andy, his deeply pure character shines through. Thanks Andy!
• Louie Giglio spoke passionately about the church needing to lift up the transcendent Jesus.  Bang on in saying relevance, worship and justice can easily become the golden calves of our generation, and this from the man who brings us the Passion movement.
• Reggie Joiner...I just love this man who not only won't quit on the family, but who deeply pursues innovative ways to partner with parents across North American and the world in the name of Jesus.  Thanks Reg!

Hey Orange people, what did you love and what did you learn?

What's Up @ Orangeology

So it seems like right after going to bed last night, it's time to his the shower and start again. 

Today we'll hear from people like Francis Chan and Donald Miller.  I'm teaching on how to simplify your church ministry model and doing  breakout together with Reggie Joiner about what it was like to work with Andy Stanley and what we can learn from that (which is kind of interesting, since I've never worked directly for Andy Stanley, but I guess that means' I'm the 'here are the principles we can learn about this' kind of guy.)

Plus, today our friends from Global TV are hanging out with me all day today.  They are filiming today as part of the one hour Kevin Newman special they are creating on what churches are doing to reach people who don't go to church.

Hey, Connexus friends - once again your story is being told at Orange to encourage other leaders to take bold risks.  There's a two page write up in the Orange Conference book about your incredible faith in starting Connexus.  Reggie also had fun explaining why we left a building we built to move into a theater church so that, like a loving father, we could reach more people who were missing.  I'm so grateful for you and proud of you!

If you want pics, check out Dan Scott's blog.

Hey, one last but most important thing - happy birthday to my completely sweet bride, Toni! It will be great to hang out together again today.

Orangeology (2)

Tonight's opening main session at Orange was completely over the top and downright inspirational.

Worshipping with 3700 other people is pretty awe inspiring to begin with, but have Steve Fee lead us tonight was incredible.

I am so grateful for God sending Reggie Joiner into my life. He's more than just a great leader to me - he's a great friend.  Reggie hit it out of the park tonight with a message that was far more than just well-prepared and well-delivered, it was completely inspired. 

He talked about living in the midst of prodigal generation -- a generation of people who grew up and ran away on God. (Read the original story here.) Many wish they could come home. Here's the problem: they just don't know who they are going to meet when they show up -- a loving father, or their older brother.

Reggie encouraged every church leader to repudiate the attitude of an older brother when it comes to dealing with prodigals, and adopt the posture of a loving father. Among Reggie's insights:

• Loving fathers are preoccupied with whoever is missing.  Older brothers are preoccupied with themselves.    
• Loving fathers forgive. Older brothers shame.

There was so much more in the talk than that, but as I thought about those two alone, how would they change our lives and our churches?

Reggie imagined church after church turning from an older brother mindset and becoming loving father churches.

Tonight rekindled my passion in a very personal kind of way.  As a former prodigal, I remember being greeted by grace, not judgment. I remember a loving father who welcomed me in my rebellion.  And I know that there are thousands of people within a heartbeat of every church on the planet who would stampede back in a second if they thought a loving father, not an older brother, might greet them.

I want to snuff out every last bit of older brother out of me. I want my life - and our church - to be the kind of environment that prodigal can't wait to get home to.

It made me think of people in my life I really need to open up to completely - zero judgment, just grace.

Orangeology (1)

It's day one at Orange.  Said hi to so many people.  The morning workshop went well, I think. Talked about starting ministry using a simple model. That is so close in my heart.

Sitting in right now with Mike Clear and Todd Clark from Discovery Church in California who are talking about developing Orange Roots.   Orange strategy seeks to combine the influence of church leaders (symbolized by the colour yellow for the light of Christ) and parents (symbolized by red, the colour of the heart) around a common strategy to shape children spiritually and morally.  At Connexus, we are pumped about what's ahead for families.

The roots you plant today will determine the plant you grow and the fruit you'll bear tomorrow.  A lot of this is applicable to way more than family ministry, so I'm hoping it's helpful for everyone at some level.

Some insights that lit me up:

1.  Who you hire determines where you're heading.  And how you recruit determines determines how people will exit your ministry.  Recruit by email, people will step back via email.  Making deep personal contact with with people means at all points in the future, they are more likely to make personal contact with you.

2.  It is impossible to say that you believe in a ministry or cause and not support it financially.  Show me your budget and I'll show you where your heart is.

3.  If family is first, and you give your family ministry production the crappiest timeslot, then family isn't first.

4. Orange churches don't do much, but what they do, we try to do well. It's next to impossible for an Orange Ministry and smorgasboard ministry (every thing goes).

5.  Priority determines capacity. Devoting a little of yourself to everything means devoting a great deal of yourself to nothing.

Great stuff from Mike and Todd!  Thanks guys.  Looking forward to all that's ahead at Orange.

I'm teaching again at 3.  Would be so grateful for your continued prayers.

Energy Boost

"I'm so bored of little gods
    While standing on the edge of something large."

                - David Crowder

So Toni and I are leaving tonight to go to Atlanta for a couple of weeks.  So it's that crazy "work twice as hard before you go and work twice as hard when you get back to make up for being away" kind of deal.

I woke up exhausted today. My temptation was to run into the office at 6:30 a.m. and just plow through all the writing I need to do for Connexus before I leave (some key documents and oh, yeah, that preaching stuff that's going to ROCK in May). But I took some time with my one year Bible and took some time to pray.  Then I jumped on the treadmill and ran for 30 minutes, iPod on and David Crowder loud.  At first, I thought "there's no way I can run for half an hour".  But the end, my pulse was racing, I increased my top run speed and I felt great.  Fantastic.

Martin Luther said it well hundreds of years ago when he said "I have so much to do today I can't imagine not praying for 3 hours before my day begins."  I wasn't at the three hour mark today (or most days, honestly), but he's so onto the right stuff.  God gives you energy.  Incredible energy.  And since I'm sure Martin Luther chopped wood or something and I mostly eat chop suey, the treadmill thing is more necessary in my life than in his.

God gives me energy (incredible energy).  Fitness gives me energy (admittedly this is very new in my life).  And people give me energy. I get particularly energized by volunteers who are on-mission and living it out and leaders in general who are sold out to the cause of Christ.

I'm excited to be able to share some talks this year at the Orange and Drive Conferences in Atlanta.  The leadership community that gathers for those events is nothing short of dynamite.  I would appreciate your prayers for Toni and I as we head out, for our Connexus team here (great things are lined up for the next two weekends here at home -- don't miss them!!) and for those from Connexus heading down, for all the speakers at the events and for the leaders who will gather. I'll blog the happenings. In the meantime, I continue to pray this:  God, move.

More Than Worth the Investment

I spent part of my afternoon at my son's public school, watching him and his classmates 'graduate' from the D.A.R.E. (Drug Abuse Resistiance Education) program.  In our province, anyway, they teach grade six kids  about the dangers of drug and alcohol use and how to resist peer pressure. 

It was actually quite a moment to see some of the 12 year olds promise to never use illicit drugs and to stay away from alcohol.  I was so grateful for the school system and police force for investing not only in my son, but in his friends.  I was thankful to see other adults taking the development of my son and his friends so seriously.

In so many ways, that's what I see our small group leaders and Xtreme, InsideOut, UpStreet and Waumba Land crews doing every weekend with 200 kids. All week long, our volunteers work at their "real" jobs.  But they hold our kids spiritually in their hearts, and they bust it every weekend to make sure our kids have someone pour into them spiritually and morally.  I honestly believe that a few years from now, there will be hundreds of kids (one day, thousands of kids) who say their lives turned out so much more positively because an adult other than their parent invested deeply in them.  And this isn't just for "church" kids.  Our dream is to see whole cities and regions impacted by this. 

Thank you to everyone who invests in the life of a child.  I spent tonight grateful for my son's school and our police force, and very grateful our Connexus community that invests so heavily in the next generation.

It's way more than worth it.

Believe

Spent yesterday with a really great ministry leader I admire a lot and get a chance to work with on an ongoing basis.  I don't know anyone who "gets" the family like Reggie Joiner does.  He has a way of cutting to the heart of any issue facing those of us who try to integrate our faith with life.  I love the chance to work with him. 

When we were working on some upcoming projects, Reggie shared a simple story about a dad who took his son to breakfast every Saturday.  As his son grew older, his dad began to doubt whether the breakfasts meant anything any more.  Mostly they wouldn't have much to say. 

One day when the dad was with his teenage son, he said "You know, why don't we just pass on the breakfast this week.  I can understand if you've got other things you'd rather be doing."  The son stopped and looked confused.  "Dad," he shot back.  "Why?'   "Well" his dad said, "I can understand if don't really enjoy spending time with me anymore."  "Dad," his son responded, "That's the most meaningful time I spend anywhere all week."

I think most of us underestimate the positive impact we have on others.  I think most of us feel we undercontribute in this life, that God isn't using even what we offer to Him.

Quick message of encouragement today.  Believe.  Believe God is using you as you seek to do good in His name. 

There are a lot of reasons for you to stop doing the right thing right now, and only one that would keep you going:  God. 

Believe.

It Would Be Nice if it was Hot Rapids, MI....

On our way today to Grand Rapids Michigan to meet with several dozen church leaders who want to talk family ministry.  It probably won't bring us a break in the cold snap we're going through here in the north (Grand Rapids really has the same weather as we do).

I'm stoked because we get to meet with about 75 church leaders who want to talk about family ministry.  As a Canadian, that's inspiring because it's hard to find 75 church leaders in Canada who connect casually about anything.

There are far fewer churches (and hence far fewer church leaders) in Canada than in the U.S., even if you measure per capita rather than in raw numbers.  That's why I get very excited when Canadian church leaders get together too.  Next week, I'll spend half a day with eight lead pastors from Ontario as we meet to discuss common issues.  Earlier this month, I spend half a day with a different group of Toronto area pastors for the same purpose.  Canadian church leaders need to get together more often!  Our denominations are all over the map, but our cause is the same. We need each other.

Hey -- can I ask you for a favour?  Today, pray for church leaders everywhere.  As I meet leaders all over the place, I find they are usually under-encouraged and in need of all the support they can get.  When we pray, pool our efforts and support each other, amazing things happen -- like the Kingdom of God advances.  Thanks in advance for that today!

Family Day...Every Day

We celebrated our first family day in Ontario today...a celebration, our premier says, of family, because families need more time together.  Good idea.

So what does your family do to stay together, to foster family life and a journey that points kids in the right direction? We're at the stage where racking up the mileage on the car is not hard...hockey rules, and right now we're all over the place in playoffs.  Beyond that and work, there's not a lot of time left.  So how do we leverage that time?   Because time is the key to relationship, and relationship is the key to life in Christ (it's all about a relationship!)  To me, as the kids get older, the key is not just praying together or reading the Bible together (that's important and necessary), but opening a dialogue about faith and life that runs through life. That can be a lot trickier.

Personally, I find conversations about God and life happen best in the flow of every day life. Here's what we do to try to track together at this stage in life (my boys are 16 and 12):

• We eat dinner together almost every night.  Very important. With my BBQ busted, I'm loving it when Toni brings out the crockpot in the morning.  Ribs rock.
• We serve together Sundays at Connexus.
• We listen to music together, and let the kids drive the playlist.  Beats four people living together 24/7 with four iPods running and four soundtracks. 
• I let my 16 year old drive wherever he's legally allowed to.  That gives us time together.
• I pull each son out of school once a term and do something with him for fun.
• I'm reading through Daniel with Sam (aged 12).  Great story about a young man, God, and integrity.
• We play board games, watch movies and read in the same space.
• I'm trying not to work to hard. 
• We try to do several shorter vacations together each year.

Pretty normal, unimaginative stuff, but the key to relationship is time.

What things do you do with your family?  What helps you keep communication and God-opportunities wide open?