Carey Nieuwhof

We Have an Image Problem

I spent yesterday afternoon at home with a crew from Global TV.  They were doing some of their final shooting for a documentary to be broadcast this fall (October is the tentative broadcast month). They're calling the documentary "Hip to be Holy" (quirkily neat title).  They interviewed a bunch of churches doing innovative stuff, but are using Connexus as the focal point.

Spent two hours being interviewed.  They're a great crew so it was a lot of fun, but the questions intrigued me.  A lot of the interview focused on the way we do church v. "normal" which was cool.

But about a third of the interview had to do with hot button issues in the culture.  What was my view on abortion...gay marriage...would I baptize a practicing homosexual...should Canada become a Christian nation...what about a political agenda for new kinds of churches...what do I think of the televangelists (I'm not telling my answers, you'll have to tune in, if they even make the edit).

Yesterday drove home the fact that so many of us Jesus-followers are known for what we are against. They asked me what a stereotypical image of an evangelical Christian might be that a non-Christian would have.  I had two answers:

1. I'm not sure non-churched people think about us that much.
2. When they do, it's not good.  We're seen as judgmental, hypocritical, agenda-driven and even angry.

Even with the progress that we and numerous other churches have made (thank you, God!) in terms of redefining Sundays, ministry and community, we still have this HUGE image problem.  I know if people could just get to Jesus, they'd love Him (or at least many would).  But so often I stand in the way still.  Our image stands in the way.

How do we tackle this?  How can our lives, our communities of Jesus-followers, better show Christ's love?  What can we do?  How can I live differently?

Just some questions as the sinking-realization of the enormity of the task sets in once again.

Maybe this documentary will help reverse some of that stereotype.  Maybe this weekend at Connexus or your church do to turn the tide?  But what can all of us do to turn the tide?

I Survived a Boring Church Service to Watch a Japanese Game Show

It occurred to me a few years ago that although I had grown up in church, church and fun generally didn't go together.   So we tried to make our experiences as a community of Jesus followers more fun. Then we met some friends a few years ago who made us look boring. North Point, Connexus' big-daddy church affiliate, and our good friends at Orange, know how to have fun.  They notched it up a level or two.

Last night my kids and I sat down to watch I Survived a Japanese Game Show, a really kitch show about ten Americans who end up on a zany Japanese Game show.  It was just funny at every level, and it made me think again about how church people rarely think outside the box.  Not that we're going for crazy stunts, but our God is way more creative and imaginative than most of his followers are.

As I was writing this post, I just got off the phone with a woman I haven't met who attends our Orillia Campus.  She brought her boyfriend for the first time two weeks ago.  He hadn't been to church for years, and his comment was "this isn't like any church I've ever been at before, period."  For him that was a good thing.  One of the things he had was "fun".  The service engaged him and didn't have any boring religious mumbo jumbo. It bothers me that so many unchurched people write off church because, among other things, we're just boring.

As you think about making fun, shock, surprise and delight as words that might one day describe some of your church experiences, here's why I'm committed to becoming more creative as time goes on:

• Humour disarms people.  If people laugh, their defenses go down and they are far more ready to hear a hard truth.
• Fun helps makes environments irresistible.  It makes people want to come back.  Truthfully, most non-church attenders never want to go back to a church they've just visited.
• Fun should be appropriate, and ideally it should make a point.  Best yet is when it accentuates the key point in your message.
• Fun, humour, shock and surprise makes things memorable.  A couple weeks ago during our God and Sex series, we handed out gourmet chocolate bars with a cryptic message on them, encouraging people to wait and not open them.  Naturally, by the time we explained what we were doing, many had opened it and chowed down all or part of their bars.  The message was on waiting with sex for marriage, and then we revealed that everyone who didn't open their chocolate bars would be given another one on the way out - similar to the way sex is more of a blessing if people wait for marriage. I poked gentle fun at people who had opened their chocolate bar and been "caught."  It was a cool and funny moment, and I think it helped people remember the "wait" message well!  Then, as an act of grace, we gave everyone an extra chocolate bar as they left.

The last thing I want church to be is boring.  Because God, actually, is not boring.  Not in the least.

How comfortable are you with 'fun' in church?  What are other things things has humour and fun helped you accomplish in church?

Why Do I Feel Energized These Days?

I noticed something weird last week. As I thought about it, I realized it had been happening for a while.  Yesterday confirmed it again.

Over the last few months, Sundays have energized me.  They leave me with more energy, more joy, more enthusiasm than I had when I got there early in the morning.  Now that may sound weird to the non preachers reading this post, because after all, that's what worship is supposed to do, right?

But the truth is, for years prior to this (okay, maybe a decade), Sundays left me drained and rather anti-social.  I would get home exhausted and burned out.  I would sleep on the couch and generally retreat.  It would often last two days.  Even though I would go to work the next day, my knuckles would drag. And I know from talking to many preachers over the years that I'm not alone.  I thought it came with the territory, and I eventually ended up justifying some of it as biblical. 

So I started to wonder, why am I driving home with a smile on my face these days?  Why did I love not only preaching two services, but then going to a park and serving our volunteers for three hours yesterday? I even have to get up way earlier to do this! It's not like the first seven months of Connexus were a cake walk.  Far from it. What kind of energy and joy is this that is emerging?  Where is it coming from?  The truth is, I really don't know, but I'm grateful for it.  Here are some tentative reasons:

• We are actually impacting the unchurched at a deeper level than before.  I have had more conversations with people who have no church background in the last six months than in the previous five years combined.
• Our volunteers and leadership team are aligned at a better level than before, really wanting to do this kind of ministry.  We spend almost no time justifying the kind of ministry we're doing and almost all our time trying to figure out how to do it better.
• Our ministry is more focused than ever before.  The few environments we run are designed to facilitate our mission.  That means our time and resources are focused on a goal we find worth pursuing.
• People are giving with their lives and resources at a deeper level than ever before.  And having hundreds of people using their gifts in tight alignment with a common mission and strategy is incredibly empowering.  I honestly an amazed every week to see people serve hard and long with huge smiles on their faces.

I guess I'm deeply grateful to the people who are making this journey to become Connexus.  You energize me.  And I'm grateful to God for the opportunity to roll up our sleeves and dig deep into what I pray will be a long, dramatic run into the lives of the 85% of our friends, family and neighbours who are not in a growing relationship with Jesus.

What energizes or drains you in ministry, as a staff member or volunteer?

Questions about Jesus, Anyone?

I am totally grateful for everyone's help with our current series at Connexus, I Doubt It.  In many ways, you crafted it! You generated a lot of ideas.

Now I'd love to drill down a little further. This weekend I'm talking about the doubts we carry about Jesus being God.  As I wrap up writing in the next 72 hours, I'd love to hear what your questions/doubts are about whether Jesus is God?

What, if anything, haunts you about Jesus being the way to God?  Do you find it hard to believe in the resurrection...in God becoming man...in there being one way...in the scriptures being reliable?  Are there elements of the Jesus-story that just don't work for you? 

Fire away.  I'd love to hear the specific question(s) that linger in your mind about how/whether Jesus is God.  Love to hear from those who follow Jesus and those who aren't yet sure!

Over to you....

Alongside Grace

Been off the blog for a couple of days. Thanks for your prayers for our big weekend.  The launch of I Doubt It went better than I expected.  I wrestled for days with the message and in the end felt underwhelmed by it, until the feedback started flooding in.  God really seemed to use it.  Grateful for that!

Irresistible was a pretty awesome venue.  Well over 100 adults who call Muskoka home joined many of our people to worship together and talk about planting a Connexus Muskoka.  To call the evening energizing and exciting would be an understatement, and it was incredible to preach Acts 10 last night. It was great to see a vision begin to turn into reality.  It will be exciting to see where God takes this.

On the weekend it felt like we were really feeling God's pleasure in what we were doing.  Even though the hours were long last week, the reward is sweet when you have a sense that God is more than in the middle of it.  I woke up to read this from Psalm 127 this morning:

It is useless for you to work so hard
      from early morning until late at night,
   anxiously working for food to eat;
      for God gives rest to his loved ones.

It was a long week last week, but I got this incredible sense that we are doing what God wants us to be doing - and that gave a real sense of peace and even rest.  I think that's the way it works - when we are doing what's close to God's heart, the rest can be sweet.

Made me think once again that there's nothing I'd rather be doing with the days God has given me.

How about you - what hard work gives you "rest"?

Persistent Dreaming Can Be Powerful

It's cool that Sunday, June 8th is right around the corner.  That's the night for Irresistible - a special evening about launching a new Connexus campus in Muskoka.  Rich Birch and I are going to cast vision about what a Connexus in Muskoka would be about and the steps we'd have to take in the next few months to get us there.  I am SO stoked!  We have no idea what's going to happen, how many will show up, or what the next 6-12 months will look like.  But we are about to find out.

So much of my life has been impacted by a small group of leaders in Muskoka who first approached me almost four years ago to talk about opening a church in Muskoka for people who aren't into church.  At first I kind of wrote the idea off (we had enough on the go, and I thought multi-site churches were about the ego of their pastors), but as one voice grew to a dozen or more voices, I began to wonder if God was up to something. After all, ultimately, every community needs great environments where people with zero or limited background in Christianity can move into a growing relationship with Jesus.  There's just not enough of them.  By late 2005, myself and our leadership team were into full blown investigation of what an expanded ministry might look like.

The hunger this core team of people have shown for a place to bring their friends has ultimately been irresistible in my life.  That one leader has grown to over 60 people who drive even over an hour to be part of Connexus every weekend. Rumour is that many more have since caught the vision. In so many ways, the founding of Connexus and the vision for more campuses actually ensued because this group of leaders felt a burning in their heart for their friends in Muskoka who didn't yet know the love or power of Jesus. 

Two things as we head into this weekend:

1. Do you know any Christ follower in Muskoka whose vision for church focuses on reaching their friends?  If so, tell them about Irresistible and make sure they don't miss Irresistible on Sunday, June 8th at 7:30 p.m. at the Rene M. Caisse Theatre.  I am so proud of the hard work our team has put into this incredible event!
2. Are you nurturing the dream God has placed on your heart?  Do you know what it is?  Do you still care?  Have you given up? We'll talk more about dreaming on the blog this weekend.  But in the meantime, what has God given you a passion to do and how are you chasing that down - turning that dream into reality?

You WILL be Defined

Something is going to define your life and mine.  It will.  That's what I've been driving at this week on the blog.  I know that when I die, my kids are going to stand around and say many things, but inevitably it will get reduced to a sentence or two that begins this way: "Dad was...."

The reason I love to think about the now is because we still are able to change and influence what our lives will be about.  The sad part is that too many people don't think about what their life will be about.  We just kind of live it, and in the end, we hope it will be good enough.  And I know my drift (when I'm not intentional) is to make my life about things that matter less, not more.

So what's it going to be about for you?  Who do you want to be?

We were asking that question collectively as the church this week on the blog (I hope at a minimum you read this)- what do we want to be about?  I've been to too many churches where in the end, the church is dying because it was about the whims, wants and preferences of the members and not enough about Jesus and the world He died for. 

Your life will be about something.  So will mine.  And our collective life will be about something too.  We all end up being about something.

i have completely dug the great comments on the blog this week.  But before we leave this...any parting thoughts on what you want all of this to be about?  Any last thoughts on what you want your next decade, four decades, six decades, to be about?  Or what you want the church you are a part of to be about?

This Made My Day...Maybe My Week

So I'm at a garden center in Orillia yesterday to buy dirt (a sure sign of my stubborn urbanism - I buy dirt).  As I get out of the car, this kid working there sees me has a huge smile on his face. He's about 17 and I don't recognize him. As I walk over he comes over to shake my hand and says "You're my pastor."

I smiled back and said "I"m not sure we've met." 

"No, we haven't" he says. "I go to Connexus Orillia (pointing to the Galaxy).  Man, I love what's going on there.  It's so awesome!"

As I talked with him, I tried to figure out who "brings him".  No dice.  Parents don't go.  His grandparents go to our Barrie campus.  He comes all by himself.  Except then he lays this on me:  "I usually bring 4 or 5 friends with me.  Some of them don't go to church, and they love it."

"You're kidding", I said.

"No, it's just so relevant. We think it's so great.  They're excited about going. Thank you for what you are doing."

I had heard that groups of my-parents-don't-go-to-church-but-now-I-do teens were showing up in Orillia (and have met some in Barrie too).  But to meet this guy and get to hear his story first hand...that was so cool.

It made me SO grateful for what God is doing in our midst.  SO grateful for our volunteers who set up environments so teenagers whose parents don't come with them can discover and grow in Christ.  Environments that make teenagers wake up on Sunday and say "I can't wait to explore God today." Environments that help teens realize God is not nearly as lame as they think He is.

I am so thankful to be a small part of this amazing team.  Connexus people - you rock the stadium!

Line of the Week

A lot of great comments on the blog.  This one caught my eye though. It's from someone who simply calls herself K who posted on Heaven, Hell, Who Cares?  Here's what she wrote:

"I have enjoyed all your topics in the 4-5 months that my husband has been bringing me."

Let me tell you why I chose it.  I promise you it's not because she likes the messages.  It's the "4-5 months that my husband has been bringing me" part that made say "yes" deep inside.

One of the most exciting things for me personally in the life of Connexus so far is the number of people who have been inviting their friends and family.  I don't believe I have met K's husband (or K.), but it's so good to see a man investing in his marriage and in his wife's heart in this way.  It's been fantastic to see so many people bring their friends and family (talked to even more people brought by friends again yesterday).  That's just kind of how it went down in the Bible - no mass marketing, just people telling people that there's something about Jesus they need to explore.

K. - I'm looking forward to the series this summer.  Thanks for being open to exploring Jesus together with us.  K's husband - thanks for spiritually investing in the most important relationship in your life.

Heaven, Hell, Who Cares?

I have totally loved the preaching feedback this blogging community provides on message topics - both from our fantastic Connexus folks and from leaders all over.

We had our usual SPD meeting today (Service Programming Design) with my staff friends Rich Birch and Andy Walker, where we went over the message schedule for the next six months.  Your ideas are being woven into the next six months of preaching here at Connexus.  Just wanted to say thanks.

But then I threw a curve ball in. I've heard recently of some churches that have done a series on hell or are thinking of doing one.  I was intrigued.  I have never preached on hell actually, except to mention it in passing.  I came into the meeting with a three week surprise summer series on hell penciled in, and the team threw it around and we stretched it into a five week mid summer series on heaven and hell we're tentatively calling "Stairway to Heaven | Highway to Hell". Not sure if that's going to be the final title or not, but I kind of like it.

The series would debunk popular myths about heaven and hell that many of us hold, explore the tough  and real questions people have about both places.

As we wrestled down the big question (why would we do a series on heaven and hell), this is what I came up with:

     If had an accurate view of heaven and hell, would we actually live differently?

So, there it is.  What do you think? Could you stomach five weeks on heaven and hell?  Are you ready to explode some really bad cartoon myths and funeral-talk misconceptions about what either place is really like? Most of our friends who don't follow Jesus think hell is a really bad idea.  Would an honest conversation draw them in?  What are your thoughts?  Your questions?